My first book review...and the start of a journey

After winning an e-book, I’ve decided to do my 1^stbook review. I actually won this a while back, but because of a variety of circumstances, it took me a while to finish it and I’m finally getting down to writing about it.

The e-book I won was The Beautiful Hangover by Liana Cano and Micheline Waring. While the book gives a background on both women, it is from the point of view of Micheline. It's about a Canadian expat (Micheline) living in Argentina who, with the help of her Columbian friend (Liana), an expat as well, starts to find herself again, and learns the balance of wife, mother and self.

I have to admit, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first started reading, and I was pleasantly surprised. This is my first biography, or at least non-fiction, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I love to read and it’s not uncommon for me to get lost in a book, but this may have been the first time it felt like the book was being written about me. There are of course big differences between us, but when she described when she finally took stock of her life what she saw, I realized we could be looking at almost identical reflections in the mirror.
         

“I don’t think I’d really looked in a mirror for some time, and I was a little dismayed to see my reflection. My hair didn’t look so good. I had dark circles under my eyes. My skin was dull and I started to notice some wrinkles. The sleepless nights were taking their toll on me.”

“I realized that my activities revolved entirely around running our household.”

After reading this, I realized that somewhere along the line, I had let myself go. I rarely did more then the bare minimum to get myself through the day. There are many mornings I don’t even bother brushing my hair since I’m not planning on leaving the house and my hair usually ends up in a ponytail anyways. I know what some people might say, I have a 15 month old who was very demanding as an infant and I was also caring for my toddler and a dog, usually by myself because of hubby’s schedule, but I’m not the first to do this, and others seems to manage well. And exercise…well, I’ve never been good at committing to an exercise routine, though as my weight and waist line start to inch back up and my energy levels seem to drop, I may have to admit that it’s time I took control of my physical health. As for my mental health, well, lets just say that’s taken a hit that not everyone is aware of. I’ve lost my self-esteem. I never had much to begin with, and I struggled for a few years before I got myself into a good place where I was confident in myself, but over the last couple of years, I lost it, and didn’t bother trying hard enough to hold onto it. It’s sad to realize that I forgot how important I am.

I enjoyed reading about Micheline’s journey as she finds herself again. Especially the moment when she finally realizes that she’s achieved her “beautiful hangover”. I plan on going back and re-reading, I’ve even starting making notes of my favourite sections, but I know I’m in for hard work. My journey to my own beautiful hangover is just beginning, and like Micheline says;

“I hadn’t lost myself in a day, and I wasn’t going to find my way back that quickly either.”

Thank you, for helping me realize what I hadn't noticed before since I was too busy caring for others, and not enough about myself.

That Time of Year

So, it's that time of year again, yep, cold and flu season...fun!

I hate this time of year! I swear I can see the germs coating every surface! I'm not a germ-a-phob per se, but I swear since I've had kids, I've become hyper-aware!

We are fairly lucky. Being a stay-at-home mom, my kids aren't exposed as much as other kids who are in day care or school (that'll be next year), but we still get our share of illnesses. Usually hubby picks it up at work & brings it home, but sometimes we get it from family functions or even out shopping. Ya, don't believe me? Watch the people around you & see how many cough into their hands before touching something. Grossed out now? Yep, that's me almost everywhere I go!

But the germs aren't the only reason I hate this time of year, the other reason is that plethora of runny noses. I'll admit, before I had kids, I could handle anything! Give me poop, pee, spit up, sometimes even vomit, & I'd barely blink an eye, but give me a kid with a runny nose & it would take all my will power not to run as far and fast as I could! Shortly after we were married, I remember being at a friend's house who had a one year old. This child seemed to constantly have a runny nose & as much as I loved her, I dreaded her sweet little hug...and the inevitable gift she left behind on my clothes. A few years later, with 2 kids of my own, I've grown to realize that I have become nothing more then a glorified tissue. My son seems to prefer to rub his runny nose on my shoulder then on the tissue I'm offering. In fact, that's one of the main reasons I hate runny noses, the fights over cleaning them.

In my house, trying to wipe a runny nose is like being part of a soap opera. There is screaming, crying, and that's just from me. Trying to use a nasal aspirator? It's like a battle scene from a movie. There are battle cries, arms & legs are flying, weapons are used & sometimes, blood is drawn. The weapons in question are of course, the nasal aspirator on my end, and whatever toy they happen to be holding. And OK, so maybe so far there has been no blood, but I'm surprised, I've been hit pretty hard in the face during these fights. These kids fight dirty!

So that defeated looking woman you see out with the 2 kids, 1 or both with runny noses, that could be me. I promise I'll try to keep them from getting too bad, but sometimes, I'm just tired of fighting.

Thicker Than Water

Recently, I heard about a tragedy that affected a girl I went to grade and high school with.  After hearing about what she went through, and imagining what she is still going through as she deals with the scope of this tragedy, I got to thinking about family.

I was raised to know that family is very important.  While I was born in Canada, I am a first generation Canadian, my parents having moved here in the 60s from Portugal (separately, it would be years before they would meet).  My family was and is close.  Oh, we don’t get together every weekend or anything like that, but it can be quite often when you add it up.  We tend to celebrate big events together, and I don’t just mean weddings, things like 1^st birthdays, communions, confirmations and other milestones.  Then of course, there is at least 2 family barbeques during the summer and we still have Thanksgiving, Christmas and possibly New Years.  There may also be gatherings that are just chances for us to get together.  When you consider how many gatherings that could potentially be in a year, we can see each other quite often.  Of course, sometimes things may get in the way, previous plans, bad weather, illnesses, but we try and to be honest, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to enjoy these gatherings more and more (though not all the traveling).  We argue, but we make up.  We try not to let petty things tear us apart, though that’s not saying it hasn’t happened.  I do have an uncle I haven’t seen in years…his choice to remove himself from the family.

There are of course some family members I see or speak to more often then others.  Some are geographically better positioned for visits, and a couple I speak to on Facebook.  I also happen to speak to my mom every day.  But no matter what, no matter where we are, we know we are there for each other.  My maternal grandmother never learned to properly speak English, and as far as I know, never learned to drive.  When she was at home, she used public transit to get around, and if she needed to go to a dr’s appointment where she needed translation, someone went with her.  If there was a family gathering, someone would drive to pick her up and then take her home again (her kids all eventually moved about an hours drive away, though they all live fairly close to each other).  When my grandma needed open heart surgery, she lived with her kids (taking turns between houses) until she was well enough to return home by herself.  When she suffered a series of minor strokes and ended up in hospital, someone was there to be with her every day.  When she eventually lost the ability to speak or do anything for herself and needed to be in a home, her kids and goddaughter took turns coming in to feed her meals, trying to be there for as many meals as possible.  When she passed away, she spent that last day surrounded by her family, and in her final minutes, she was surrounded by her kids.  Life sometimes pulls us away, makes it harder to be there, but we try, and if someone really needs us, we do our best to be there.

That’s how I know that if I ever needed something, my family would be there in a heartbeat, lending all the support they possibly can. 

They can drive me crazy sometimes, but I love my family, and I’m so lucky to have them!

The Beauty of Nature

I decided to add this post because I saw something that truly inspired me, so I wanted to share.

One thing to know about me is I love nature.  I was born in Toronto and lived in the suburbs.  We weren’t far from farmland, but unless you drove the 15 plus minutes to the farms, you really couldn’t tell.  It would actually kind of freak me out to be able to see the stars, with all the city lights, that wasn’t always possible.  As I got older, I learned to really appreciate the wonder and beauty of nature.  Cicadas buzzing during the hot summer afternoons, the raw power of a thunder and lightening storm, the calm quiet of a cold winter night with the snow gently falling outside and the brilliant colours of the leaves painting the countryside during the fall.  I love seeing the animals too.  The first time I saw a deer outside of a zoo I was beside myself, I was so excited I couldn’t wait to tell someone.  When I moved into a smaller town and found rabbits in my backyard (which turned into a slight annoyance when my dog would freak out or they ate my blueberries), or the time I saw a pair of foxes in my backyard, I was stunned!  They were so close, so amazing and so beautiful, even more so since they were free.

When I stop for a moment and really appreciate the nature around me, I’m sometimes filled with such awe, it takes my breath away.  Most of the time, when I stop and watch a sunrise or sunset, or just enjoy a quiet sunny afternoon, no matter what the season, I am filled with peace.  It’s one of the few times that it feels like everything is back to centre, that everything makes sense.

And sometimes, something I see will bring me to tears.  I know this might seem silly, but watching this amazing video of Starlings did just that.  You don’t always have to go looking for beauty in magazines or online, sometimes, you just have to step outside.

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/11/video-a-murmuration-of-starlings/247852/

Bullying

Some of you may have heard about the No More Bullies campaign that was started by Majic 100, a radio station in Ottawa.  Since this started, I’ve been hearing more stories of people who have been bullied in school and how they want to stop bullying and support kids who are being bullied now. 

Seeing all these stories made me think about my own experiences and what I’ve heard from others.  Was I bullied?  I don’t know.  I was teased, ostracized, made to feel unwanted or “un-cool” by some of my schoolmates, so maybe in a sense, I was bullied.  I was a small child and looked younger then I was.  I was also innocent enough to not know a lot of things that other kids, the cool kids, in my class knew.  I remember one classmate in particular, in about grade 3, pushing me towards the grade 1s, telling me that that’s where I belonged.  She stands out in my mind because she felt the need to point out my differences more than anyone else.  Eventually, I grew up though and stopped letting the words of others bother me so much.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I think those early experiences shaped who I am today.  I still care what others think, just maybe not as much as I used to.  I was also lucky enough that this “bullying” was never very bad and eventually became less and less the older I got.

Once I hit my early teens, I joined a local Air Cadet squadron.  There I found more friends, friends I still have to this day, and I gained a good sense of who I was.  It also helped to give me confidence.  But shortly after I left, I heard about a boy from my former squadron who committed suicide.  He was being bullied at school and finally couldn’t take any more.  I wonder if the students involved in his bullying ever realized how powerful words could be, and if they ever regretted their actions and changed their ways.  I’ll never know, but I know it breaks my heart when I hear about that happening.  Why are words filled with hate always so much stronger then ones filled with love?

Who needs to step up when someone is being bullied?  I think this is a joint effort!  It starts at the root, if a student or students see someone being bullied, they should speak up, whether it’s to confront the bully and stand up for the victim, or to tell an authority figure.  The parents/caregivers should be involved of course, both sets.  If you find out your child is being bullied, working with the school to see about correcting the problem is what most parents would do.  Sometimes, the school might not even be aware it’s happening so the parent is the first one to bring it to their attention.  Then of course the parents of the bully need to step up and work with the school to ensure this doesn’t happen again.  Then of course, the school plays an integral role in helping not only stop the issue, but making sure that there are procedures in place to try and resolve the issue and prevent further problems.  But what happens when someone doesn’t do his or her part?  What happens when that someone is a parent, or the staff at a school?  They become enablers.  They provide the bullies with excuses for what they do and they never learn to correct their behaviour.  Unfortunately, I have also heard of this happening.

I’ve heard of an instance where a child was bullying other children, and when the principal brought it to the attention of the mother, the mother turned around and made accusations against the principal.  Even after the child was suspended from school for injuring another child, the mother still dropped him off since the school was not allowed to turn the child away.  What has this child learnt?  That bullying is ok because you can sidestep the problem by blaming others?  Or when a punishment is handed out, that he can flout authority? In this case, the mother became part of the problem.

Then there is the instance where the schools aren’t doing enough, or are making things more difficult for the child.  If a school isn’t taking enough action to protect the victims of bullying, or refusing to make concessions or to be lenient of a child who has limitations, physical or otherwise, they add to the stress the child may be feeling.  If that child was already unsure, or unhappy, without support at the school, things will only get worse. 

As parents, all we can do is fight, and keep fighting.  And hope that one day, people young and old, will realize the power of their words and actions on others, and maybe, just maybe, they’ll learn some empathy.  That’s what I’m striving to teach my children, my own mantra, “How would you feel if that was you…”   

#NoMoreBullies

Love you mom!

I had written a bit about the experience that we went through after my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.  After writing the post, I asked my mom to read it, then after 11 years, we finally spoke of what we were each thinking and feeling during that time.

It’s an odd experience when you look back and try to figure out your feelings were when so much time has passed and the memories from that time are a bit fuzzy.  I know I was unfailingly optimistic.  When she first found the lump and after she was diagnosed, I was constantly optimistic about things.  Maybe it wasn’t cancer, at least you found it early.  I remember anger as well.  When she went for her mammogram and didn’t tell us before hand, I remember getting angry with her that she kept us out of the loop.  When an aunt made a comment to me just after her diagnosis and surgery, and when another aunt simply asked her how she was doing at a family event, I remember snapping at them.  I don’t ever remember really feeling afraid, I was so convinced that everything would be OK, I refused to take off those rose-tinted glasses, that the fear never really touched me, oh, don’t get me wrong, it was there, but I pushed it down, wouldn’t let it take over for me.

I asked my mom and we spoke a bit about what she was thinking.  I won’t get into her feelings fully, they are hers after all, but I remember speaking of one instance that I briefly mentioned above.  We had gone to a BBQ at a family member’s house and because of the treatments my mom wasn’t feeling well.  She had been sitting in the living room just off the kitchen and I walked in to find her crying and one or more of my aunts trying to comfort her.  I immediately snapped asking them what they had said.  I remember trying to keep her from crying, to keep her spirits up, so it annoyed me that someone had upset her.  When I mentioned it to her recently, she told me that she was so used to helping out, and with her feeling so weak she had to stay out of the way, that she was feeling a little sorry for herself, so when an aunt asked her how she was doing, it set her off.

I learned that she tried to hide how she was feeling from us, both physically (though that was harder to hide) and emotionally.  I’m glad I got an opportunity to speak to her about what we were each feeling during that time, though I wish I had thought to speak to her sooner, maybe things might have been different if we had spoken during that time, or maybe, given how we each handle something that difficult, we did exactly what we needed to do and it worked out perfectly.

It’s nice to know that we can talk about it now, or anything else we may have on our minds.  I’ve heard a lot of people say that their mom’s are their best friends, I can understand why!  We talk every day, even about trivial stuff, I don’t feel right until we’ve spoken with each other.  

Love you mom!

What's Your Communication Style?

Well, while I can definitely see that I'm a bit of a few of these styles, I appear to be more of a Gabby Gloria then anything else.  Funnily enough, I'm apparently married to a Negative Nelly.

What's your communication style?

http://www.ptpamedia.com/blog/index.php/2011/10/13/whats-your-communication-style/ - via PTPA's Blogaholics

15 minutes

I’ve heard that most people get their 15 minutes of fame at some point in their lives, well, on Wednesday, October 12^th, 2011, I did on the Marilyn Denis Show.  To be honest, it was actually more like 2 minutes of fame, but it was still a great time!

I have been asked how I ended up on the show, so I’m sharing my adventure.  In August of 2011, I had seen a tweet (I now don’t remember who put it up), about people looking for makeovers from the show.  I went to the show website and found the link.  You just had to send the show an email with why you wanted/needed a makeover along with a picture.  I know, simple right?!  So I sent my email and then, to be honest, I completely forgot about it.  I had sent the email near the end of August, and it wasn’t until early October that I heard anything.  Since I had mentioned in the initial email that I had grey hair I dyed, I was contacted to be 1 of 3 women who would have a hair makeover in a segment titled “Embracing Your Grey Hair”.  After sending in a few more pictures of my hair, I was asked to come in to have my hair makeover and start the filming.  With 2 small kids at home, there was a bit of a panic to find someone to look after them on short notice, but I have an awesome aunt who agreed to watch them for me.  We made the trip to Toronto on the day of and from there we filmed the scenes in Marc Anthony’s salon and I had my hair cut and highlighted.  Now, I’ll admit something, when I was first told it was Marc Anthony, I got very excited.  I had heard of him and even watching some videos online before that day, I knew I recognized him, but it didn’t fully sink in until I had arrived at the salon and saw his products on the shelves just exactly how else I knew his name.  I’m sure you’ve seen his products in the store before and I realized I did too.  I was already nervous, but this knowledge made it worse!  I was star struck!  This is a man who literally has a hair empire and has worked with many famous people…and I was meeting him!  He was very nice and I really lucked out, the other women who were there for their hair makeovers were incredibly sweet and we clicked easily.

Once our hair was ready, it was back again on the Wednesday for the reveal on the live show.  My mom was able to come up to look after my kids and since I had to drive through rush hour traffic, we decided it was best if she stayed at home with them while I went by myself.  It was a very early morning for me.  In order to be there on time and make it through the traffic, I had to leave the house at about 5:40am.  When I got there, I met up with the 2 other ladies and we were taken to have our hair and makeup done.  The makeup artist Amy was such a sweetheart and we saw some of the employees from Marc’s salon again. I was nervous again, but everyone was so nice, it was easy to start to relax.  Now, I mentioned I was star struck meeting Marc, when we went through what would happen during the live taping, I also noticed others who’s names and faces I knew, including Bryce Wylde from CP24 Wylde on Health and chef Rocco DiSpirito.  Then of course, there was Marilyn herself.  I don’t get to watch her show too much right now since my tv is usually set to a kid’s channel, but I remember her from her CityLine days and she’s always been one of my favourites!  I was so nervous and everyone was making jokes and trying to help me relax.  Then it was time for the show to start.  We were the 1^st segment and I was the first reveal.  I had been worried I would say something stupid, but luckily, I think I came across ok.  I’m not used to the tv thing so I don’t know how it’s measured, but I think I did pretty good.  Once our part was done and we cut to commercial, we were able to shake hands with Marilyn and thank her for the opportunity.  I could lie and say everyone was so stuck up, but that just wasn’t the case, everyone was so nice and it was such a fun day for me.  And to top it off, Rocco walked right past me as I was saying thank you and goodbye to my makeup artist and I even saw Ben Mulroney walking through the building!  Sigh, I think I’m still a little star struck!  I will admit though, a friend asked me to tell Rocco how much she loves him and I got so nervous when he went past I couldn’t open my mouth to say what a huge fan she was.  Hope she’s not too upset with me.

It’s not something I ever expected to happen, but this was one of the most memorable experiences I’ve ever had, apart from my wedding day and the births of my kids. And I just wanted to say thank you again to Marilyn for making it possible, to Marc and the workers at his salon, especially Jenneffer and Marilisa for making my hair awesome, to Jodi, Sarah and Bianca for their help, to Amy, make up artist extraordinaire, to anyone else involved with this process who helped make this experience a blast, to Josephine, Hyacinthe and Louise who I got to share a lot of this with, and especially to my husband for encouraging me to go, and my mom and my aunt who agreed to look after my kids on short notice.  My kids were cute by the way, they behaved great for their caregivers and while my youngest didn’t appear to notice me on tv, my oldest did and apparently told her grandma that “I want to see mommy on tv again”.  Too cute!

http://www.marilyn.ca/Beauty/Segment.aspx/Daily/October2011/10_12_2011/GreyHair

Breast Cancer

With the CIBC Run for the Cure happening this weekend, I thought maybe I would write about my family's experience with breast cancer.

I was about 20 years old the year my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  In the beginning, we didn't even realize there was a potential problem.  To keep us from worrying, she never mentioned the lump she found, it was only when an aunt called the house to speak to her and let it slip that I found out she had gone for a mammogram.  The mammogram results led her to have a biopsy, and in the beginning, I kept trying to convince her that everything would be OK, that there was a good possibility the lump she had was benign.  After the biopsy, she was told it came back positive for cancer, but there was a possibility that the results were wrong.  To be safe, she was scheduled to have the lump removed.  I remember still clinging to the small hope that maybe there was a mistake and she didn't have cancer...I was wrong.

The operation confirmed that she did have breast cancer and 1 lymph node was removed.  She was lucky, it had been found early and hadn't started to spread, but the fear and worry were still there.  We all felt it at home.  It's been about 11 years since that operation so my memory is a bit fuzzy, but I remember going to work while my dad and a couple of my aunts took her to the hospital for the operation.  Me and my brothers visited her afterwards and I remember feeling awkward, uncomfortable.  I was used to her being this strong person, so it was difficult to see her in the hospital bed, even more so since the anesthesia made her groggy and ill.  She recovered from the surgery, but I remember the fear and concern I could see in the family that visited us.  Chemo treatments were next and again, it was usually one of my aunts who took her to her treatments.  After each treatment, she would be ill for a couple of days.  I'll admit, this was a tough time in our house.  Sometime after my mom's diagnosis, my dad told me that aside from work/school obligations, he didn't want us going out like we normally did.  I told him that going out with my friends was the way I relieved the stress I was feeling.

Looking back, I was probably being a little insensitive.  I know during the time of her treatments, at least 1 of my aunts was a little disappointed that I didn't take over more and clean the house more often.  At the time, I remember coming home one day and seeing my mom trying to clean the floors though she was still feeling sick from a treatment.  I told her to leave it, the house wasn't really dirty so why stress over cleaning something? Being a home owner and a little wiser now, I can understand the obsession with wanting to clean.  In a situation where you have very little control, being able to see that your able to do something, to set things to right, might bring some comfort.  I've never asked her why she was so concerned about the house being clean, though there is a chance she would say it was because we had so many more visitors at that time.

Then she began to lose her hair.  My mom chose to have a wig for when she lost her hair and had already gone to the shop to get one made for her.  We knew with the chemo that she would eventually lose her hair, and there is one morning that stands out in my mind.  She was getting ready for work and had asked me to help get the fallen hair off her back.  She has short hair, but by the time I got most of it off, I had almost a handful.  I remember staring at the hair in my hand and just being in shock.  I've never liked hair that's fallen out, but at that time, it was mostly wet hair like you find in a drain, after that event, any hair that I found laying around, if I had an upset stomach, made me want to gag, though it wasn't until I was pregnant that I realized how much that morning affected me.  When she went to have her head shaved for her wig, me and one of my cousins went with her.  I drove and we were all nervous and to try to make it easier, we made jokes, trying to convince my mom to get a crazy wig that was the complete opposite of her regular hair.  When the woman started shaving her head, I could see the tears in my mom's eyes and I could see my cousin fighting tears.  I was desperately trying not to cry myself, so again, to try and ease the tension, I started making jokes.  The wig she had was almost an exact duplicate of her real hair, so only those who were close to her were even aware of a difference.

Eventually she started radiation treatments, but they didn't seem to be as bad as the chemo.  The radiation still made her feel ill, but not to the extent that the chemo did.  This time seemed a bit easier, maybe because we were a bit more used to what was going on and it wasn't so scary anymore.  I don't know.  I do know that I used a lot of humor during that time to try to make things easier, whether for myself or my mom or both, I'm not sure.  I remember her one time telling me about one of her many Dr's appointments and I didn't recognize the Dr's name so I joked that she was flashing her boobs all over town. 

Maybe one of the funniest memories I have of this whole experience is once my mom's hair started growing back.  Once she got her wig, she rarely left the house without it.  One weekend, my older brother had left the house before the rest of us and since me and my younger brother worked together, we went into work at the same time.  My mom had told me she was going out, but I didn't think much about it...until I got a panicked call from my older brother.  He had come home to an empty house and didn't realize my mom had gone out.  When he went looking for her, he found her wig, but couldn't find her after searching the house.  When he called me to see if I knew, I was already working and a little distracted so it took me a moment to remember that she had plans, but afterwards, his comment made me laugh.  When he called he told me that "mom's hair is here, but I can't find her!".  It just sounded so funny.

She's been cancer free for over 10 years now, but that experience changed us.  After that experience, our family started taking more family vacations together, and they still do at least once a year.  A few years ago, we started participating in the CIBC Run and it's always been an emotional experience, especially when I see how many people have been affected by breast cancer.

Disgusted!

So, I'm new to this blogging thing, but I'll try to do my best.  Here I am, writing my first post and all the things I thought about writing during the day, I now can't remember.  Sleep deprivation does funny things to a person.

But one thing that has been on my mind all day is what I'm sure most people were talking about today; the riots in Vancouver following the Canucks 7th game loss to the Bruins.

I have to admit, and I know I'm not alone in these feelings, that I'm shocked, sickened, disgusted, disappointed and angry with the behaviour of the hundreds of individuals who participated in the destruction of public and private property.  What possesses a person to have so little respect for others that they have no problem causing such destruction?  What's worse is reports of people with ski masks or balaclavas, indicating that they expected there would be a need to hide their identity.  In the video I've also posted to this blog, you watch as one of the fiends pulls what looks like a crow bar or a golf club out of his back pack. Why would you bring something like that along if your going to watch a hockey game somewhere?  Unless you were already expecting to use it to damage property.  There are a few individuals who already are standing out in their attempts to stop the acts of violence.  Youtube videos that show a man trying to stop others from destroying a car (which I've already posted).  Images of people who are later identified as good Samaritans trying to put out fires or stop others from causing damage.

I've studied enough psychology to know that what happened in the evening of June 15th, 2011 on the streets of Vancouver is the product of what is known as "crowd mentality" or "herd behavior".  I like to think of this particular instance as herd behavior since the people involved in causing damage acted like animals.  For those not familiar with the term;

"Herd behavior describes how individuals in a group can act together without planned direction. The term pertains to the behavior of animals in herds, flocks and schools, and to human conduct during activities such as stock market bubbles and crashes, street demonstrations, sporting events, religious gatherings, episodes of mob violence and everyday decision-making, judgment and opinion-forming."  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herd_behavior

In other words, in a large group, when a small number of individuals begin to exhibit a certain behavior, like the group that initially started flipping and burning cars, others begin to join in, even if by themselves or in another situation, they would normally never do such things.

Does this excuse their behavior? NO!  Can something be done to stop this once it starts? Yes, I believe so!  The reason I believe this is, this type of behavior becomes the "herd mentality" as more and more people join in, but if a small group of people stand up to them and refuse to join in, others who are more like-minded are more likely to join, following this new herd (for lack of a better term).  I encourage you to watch the video I posted.  Pay particular attention to the man standing up for his city and the crowd around as the video comes close to the end.  You can see people watching as some destroy this car, but once this man stands up and protests, you can see others agree with him, since they themselves are probably not bad people but didn't know how to approach a situation where some are carrying weapons.  Does that mean I encourage everyone to put themselves in danger for the sake of a car, no, but don't ever be afraid to stand up if someone is doing something you know is wrong!

I'll end my first blog with this; in the age of cell phones with the ability to take pictures and videos, with people walking around with video cameras in their hands during the chaos, I hope that those that participated, especially the worse offenders are caught and punished.  They should be charged and made to pay damages!  And they should, regardless of their sentences, also be made to preform community service for the utter lack of respect for their city.  To those there last night, if you have videos or pictures of people destroying property or assaulting others, please turn it in to the Vancouver Police Department.  If you know someone in one of those images and are able to identify them, please contact VPD.

Join the herd, and stand up for Vancouver, stand up for Canada, and show that not all Canadians are like this, and we do have class and respect.   

And to those that were there last night trying to do good, the good Samaritans, the police officers, the fire fighters, paramedics, security guards, and to those that came out as volunteers this morning to help clean up...THANK YOU!  You are what make me proud to be Canadian!

Edited to add:
Hearing more stories today about good samaritans who stepped in to protect their city and help others.  I'm upset and disappointed that as people stood up to protect property, others attacked the good samaritans.

Again, hoping the worst offenders will be found and punished.

Brave Vancouverite Stands up for his City during 2011 Riot Vancouver Sta...