Seeing all these stories made me think about my own
experiences and what I’ve heard from others.
Was I bullied? I don’t
know. I was teased, ostracized, made to
feel unwanted or “un-cool” by some of my schoolmates, so maybe in a sense, I
was bullied. I was a small child and
looked younger then I was. I was also
innocent enough to not know a lot of things that other kids, the cool kids, in
my class knew. I remember one classmate
in particular, in about grade 3, pushing me towards the grade 1s, telling me
that that’s where I belonged. She
stands out in my mind because she felt the need to point out my differences
more than anyone else. Eventually, I
grew up though and stopped letting the words of others bother me so much. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I think those early
experiences shaped who I am today. I
still care what others think, just maybe not as much as I used to. I was also lucky enough that this “bullying”
was never very bad and eventually became less and less the older I got.
Once I hit my early teens, I joined a local Air Cadet
squadron. There I found more friends,
friends I still have to this day, and I gained a good sense of who I was. It also helped to give me confidence. But shortly after I left, I heard about a
boy from my former squadron who committed suicide. He was being bullied at school and finally couldn’t take any
more. I wonder if the students involved
in his bullying ever realized how powerful words could be, and if they ever
regretted their actions and changed their ways. I’ll never know, but I know it breaks my heart when I hear about
that happening. Why are words filled
with hate always so much stronger then ones filled with love?
Who needs to step up when someone is being bullied? I think this is a joint effort! It starts at the root, if a student or
students see someone being bullied, they should speak up, whether it’s to
confront the bully and stand up for the victim, or to tell an authority
figure. The parents/caregivers should
be involved of course, both sets. If
you find out your child is being bullied, working with the school to see about
correcting the problem is what most parents would do. Sometimes, the school might not even be aware it’s happening so
the parent is the first one to bring it to their attention. Then of course the parents of the bully need
to step up and work with the school to ensure this doesn’t happen again. Then of course, the school plays an integral
role in helping not only stop the issue, but making sure that there are
procedures in place to try and resolve the issue and prevent further
problems. But what happens when someone
doesn’t do his or her part? What
happens when that someone is a parent, or the staff at a school? They become enablers. They provide the bullies with excuses for
what they do and they never learn to correct their behaviour. Unfortunately, I have also heard of this
happening.
I’ve heard of an instance where a child was bullying other
children, and when the principal brought it to the attention of the mother, the
mother turned around and made accusations against the principal. Even after the child was suspended from
school for injuring another child, the mother still dropped him off since the
school was not allowed to turn the child away.
What has this child learnt? That
bullying is ok because you can sidestep the problem by blaming others? Or when a punishment is handed out, that he
can flout authority? In this case, the mother became part of the problem.
Then there is the instance where the schools aren’t doing
enough, or are making things more difficult for the child. If a school isn’t taking enough action to
protect the victims of bullying, or refusing to make concessions or to be
lenient of a child who has limitations, physical or otherwise, they add to the
stress the child may be feeling. If
that child was already unsure, or unhappy, without support at the school,
things will only get worse.
As parents, all we can do is fight, and keep fighting. And hope that one day, people young and old,
will realize the power of their words and actions on others, and maybe, just
maybe, they’ll learn some empathy.
That’s what I’m striving to teach my children, my own mantra, “How would
you feel if that was you…”
#NoMoreBullies
