Unexpected Arrival

My little girl was my first and in the beginning, I had big plans.  I wanted to do everything as natural as possible, meaning I was pretty much dead set against an epidural!  Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m terrified of needles so an epidural was one of those things that I admitted would be a last minute, I’m-in-so-much-pain-give-me-drugs type deal.  When we first started discussing who would deliver the baby, I kind of held back.  The hospital in my city doesn’t have a birthing unit so I had to chose between 2 other hospitals.  Hubby had heard good things about a hospital further east of us, so we agreed on that, but we still needed to find someone who had delivering privileges at that hospital.  I had a friend who was also pregnant at the time who was encouraging me to try midwives.  I have to admit, I liked the sound of it and after some “discussions” with hubby, I called to see if a local midwife's office would take me on.  Since they are incredibly busy, I was actually put on a waiting list and still had to find a dr just in case.  We finally did decide on a dr who had delivering privileges at the hospital of our choosing, but I wasn’t happy with the way things were working out.  I was nervous, and while my family dr was doing all the prenatal things with me and told me she would continue my care until the other dr took over, I wasn’t pleased that this other dr wouldn’t even be seeing me until I was over half way through my pregnancy.  I can’t remember the exact date now, but I remember being unhappy that he would only see me a few times before delivering my baby.  It just didn’t seem right.  Luckily though, I was still in the 1st half of my pregnancy when I got a call from the midwives office saying they had an opening.  I started my appointments soon afterwards and was pleased with the attention I was receiving.  The appointments were longer then my regular dr’s appointments and I felt more comfortable (I love my family dr, but it was nice to know I had the extra time if I had any questions or concerns).  I’ll admit though, hubby wasn’t pleased about us going with a midwife.  I had to pull the “I’m the one pushing this kid out so I want to be comfortable” card.  Actually, I pulled a lot of cards to finally get him to agree and stop bothering me about it, including the, “my mom was delivered by a midwife, what’s the big deal?”.  But he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t too thrilled about me having a midwife.  Unfortunately, when people think midwives, they think home births and who knows what else, but I knew (as do many other women), that for a woman who has a healthy low-risk pregnancy, a home birth can be just as safe as a hospital birth, not to mention, women who have midwives tend to have less interventions.  Or if you're like me and nervous about doing it at home, many midwives have delivering privileges at local hospitals.  That was the deciding factor, not only was I comfortable with the women I was meeting at my appointments, but I knew when I finally went into labour, they would be able to do the delivery at the hospital of my choosing.

My pregnancy progressed well with no complications aside from getting a bad cold in my 1st and 3rd trimester.  Oh, and of course the lovely morning sickness and heartburn.  I had joint pain, but no braxton hicks and I was very uncomfortable by the end of my pregnancy.  I had gone off work 8 weeks before my due date (for personal reasons) and was enjoying that time getting ready for our little girl (we did find out the sex beforehand) and resting whenever I could.  I was also still fairly active.  Just before the new year, hubby had hernia surgery and was unable to lift…well anything really.  Of course, that was the year that we had some pretty heavy snowfall and big snowstorms.  With hubby unable to shovel the drive, I went out to do it while I was 9 months pregnant.  Don’t worry, I took my time and put less on the shovel then I normally would.  I also had the added help from neighbors and my brother who became stranded at our place during one bad storm.  I think a lot of that activity helped later when it came time for the baby to come.  


I was a furnace near the end.  That term “bun in the oven” seemed almost literal for me!  I was so hot, even though it was early spring and still cold out, I slept in as little as possible.  I know a lot of women will say that at their last dr’s appointment they were “_cm” dilated, I honestly don’t know.  I didn’t want to be checked and my midwives never pushed to check me.  I do know however, that on the Wednesday before my little girl was born, my midwife confirmed that she had dropped and was pretty much in position.  Having heard all the stories about how first time moms usually go late and have long labours, well, I didn’t know what was going on when 2 days later, on the Friday, I woke up with mild cramping pain at 7am.  The pain wasn’t bad, just enough to irritate me.  Hubby and I had celebrated our 2nd anniversary earlier during the week, but because of hubby’s work schedule, had decided to wait until that Friday to go out for dinner.  Knowing we were just a week away from my due date, we figured this might be the last dinner out we would get alone for a while.  After waking up so early, I decided that a nap was in order before we did dinner and hubby had agreed to an early meal to try and avoid the usual Friday night dinner crowds.  During the day, before I lay down for a nap after lunch, I noticed I had started to spot.  By the time I lay down, while the pain wasn’t really bad, I was starting to feel a little sick from the discomfort.  When I woke up, the pain was getting a little more pronounced, but I was buzzing.  Something seemed to be happening!  I was also starting to bleed, so I put in a call to the midwives office to let them know.  They told me not to worry.  I don’t remember the exact words used now, but I got the impression they really didn’t consider me in labour, or even at the beginning of labour.  We went to Red Lobster for dinner (it would become a joke later about being a great labour inductor) and during dinner, the pain would be uncomfortable enough that I would push out with my legs and gasp a little, but I remember being excited, so excited it really didn’t bother me too much.  Like I said, we had an early dinner and were home by 6pm the latest.  For some reason, I don’t remember the next 4 hours, they seemed to blend together, I just remember my pains were starting to get stronger and more uncomfortable.  I was also starting to feel sick from the pain.  I had an exercise ball I tried sitting on, but it just annoyed me and I remember pushing it away in frustration and wondering why someone would recommend something like that when it was so uncomfortable.  At about 10:30pm, I took 2 Gravol and 2 Tylenol to try and help.  I know, anyone who’s been in labour is probably laughing, Tylenol, to help labour pains?!  But I tried.  The Gravol did help however, though I was a little surprised it didn’t make me fall asleep like it normally does.  I later figured it was because I was just so on edge and the pains were so strong that it just wasn’t working on me like it normally did.  10:30 was also about the time I started timing my contractions, I still have the sheets I marked it down on somewhere.  My contractions were 20 minutes apart in the beginning, and 1 minute long.  The odd thing was, my contractions were not consistent, I say 20 minutes apart, but they were sometimes 20min, sometimes 17, and then back up.  This was the start of my confusion, I had read that when your in labour, contractions are consistent, I think I had even read you can usually set a watch by them they are so consistent!  Not me!  I also couldn’t sit down, it was too uncomfortable!  So I paced.  Back and forth I walked, stopping only when a contraction hit.  I would later realize and remember what I read, that I was doing the perfect thing to encourage baby into position.  After 2 hours, my contractions became closer together though they were still inconsistent.  From 12:30-1:30am, I timed them at about 5min apart though they sometimes ended up as close as 1min apart.  It was at that point that we decided to page our midwife.  It was approximately 2am when she called back and I remember being on the phone speaking to her.  I was a first time mom, still a week away from my due date and my contractions, while close together, were inconsistent.  I was told it was early labour, and since I was starting to feel sick again, was told I can take Gravol and Tylenol to try and help, and to try to lay down and get some rest.  This is where the first mistake came.  Given the information I was giving her then, and the fact I had been bleeding since earlier in the day, she should have come to check me, but I think her tiredness dulled her mind and she didn’t.  It didn’t help that I was also able to speak through most of my contractions.  Since I had already learned the feel of my contraction, I could tell the start, feel the peak and breath in relief as it ended, I was able to speak during the start and end, but would pause as it peaked.  I remember her making a comment about me being able to speak through a contraction and I think that also made her believe that they weren’t that bad yet.  Oh, how little did we know!  It was approximately 2: 30am when I took another 2 Gravol (note that I had just had about 4 Gravol in the space of 4hours and I admitted that 2 usually knock me out) and lay down in our spare room with hubby.  He had lay down in there thinking he would leave me our bed, but the spare bed was lower and easier for me to get onto.  After a short while of me tossing and turning, hubby moved back into our room claiming he didn’t want to disturb my sleep (sure!).  The next 3 1/2 hours were a blur.

Sometime after I lay down in the dark room and hubby went to lay in our room, my body began bearing down, but at that point, the Gravol was acting like a sedative.  I seemed to wake briefly to experience a contraction, some of them right on top of each other, but would fall back asleep before I could get my body to obey the words my mind was thinking…such as call hubby because I don’t think I should be pushing!  At some point, I thought I had to use the bathroom and somehow managed to get into the main bath that just happened to be right outside the master bedroom door, but even sitting on the toilet with the light on didn’t help, I continued to pass out between contractions!  Now, I apologize about the TMI, but maybe this will serve as a warning for another 1st time mom who doesn’t realize what things feel like.  But as I sat on the toilet, I honestly thought I had to have a bowel movement and remember becoming frustrated that nothing was happening!  Finally, the Gravol started to wear off enough that when hubby got up to use our ensuite bathroom, I woke up enough to speak to him.  I asked him what time it was, he told me 5:55am, he asked me if I was ok, I told him no, he needed to page the midwife now!  The next little while became a blur, hubby came into the bathroom to check on me (not hard since the door was already wide open) and I couldn’t move from my spot.  The pain was too much!  It was as he was on the phone, with either the midwife or the answering service that my water finally broke.  Because of my position and the pressure baby was putting on it, there was no mistaking what was happening.  Thank goodness I at least was on the toilet so I didn’t have to clean up that mess!  Then the contractions changed, the pressure I had felt before now became a more directed pain down below.  Hubby was running around trying to get things ready for the midwife when she arrived (putting our dog in the spare room so she wouldn’t get in the way, turning on lights, ect).  She said she would be there in 15min, but we were out of time.  I began to feel the baby crowning, and I’m sure if someone had been video taping us, our conversation would have been something to laugh over later.  I had been quiet during most of my labour, but now as the pain increased with her emerging, I was becoming vocal, then her head came out and stayed out.  Hubby was preparing for a home birth, grabbing clean towels and such since we knew that there was no way we would make it to the hospital, when the head emerged.  The following conversation is as close as I can remember to the actual conversation.  Me: “OMG!  What the hell is that!”, Him: “I don’t know! What is it?”, Me: “I think it’s her head” (What?! I had never seen a newborn’s head and it was covered with hair and other stuff!).

At this point, I’m still sitting (or hovering) over the toilet, not exactly the ideal location to deliver a baby.  Hubby had luckily worked with emergency services before and had been present at a couple of emergency deliveries so he kicked into gear.  “Where do you want to do this? Bathroom or bedroom?”.  Now, I’ll admit, a bit of pride colored my answer and I told him bedroom.  I didn’t want to tell our daughter that I had delivered her on the bathroom floor.  At this point my contractions seem to have stopped, but her head was out and we needed to finish delivering her.  Hubby quickly ran clean towels to our bed and lay them out, then came back and helped me hobble the few feet into the room, he then helped me up onto the bed and took over.  I remember at some point, either before I pushed her completely out, or just after, hubby asked if we should call 911 and I said no.  I didn’t know which hospital they would take us to, and I didn’t want to end up at one particular hospital, plus my midwife was on her way and she would have a kit with her to finish the birth.  As I lay on the bed, with no more contractions to help me, hubby had to encourage me to finish pushing her out, and of course by this point I was tired and sore and didn’t want to.  It only took me a couple of pushes, and I remember telling him I didn’t want to do it anymore because it hurt, but he kept encouraging.  He told me he could see her head and her shoulder, and with one final push, the rest of her emerged.  With her still out of my sight, I vaguely remember hearing one cry, and then hubby wrapped a clean towel around her and laid her on my chest before running to call our midwife again to tell her that our little girl had arrived.  While hubby was unlocking our front door, I looked at the clock on the nightstand and saw it was 6:27am on Saturday morning.  We hadn’t taken any birthing classes, but someone had recommended reading The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin.  Hubby had never read it, but I had and I had made notes.  For some reason, I had also read the section on emergency births, and remembered how it said to rub the baby to stimulate circulation, so while she was still on my chest, under the towel, I began to rub as best I can.  She seemed to be asleep, but I could see her breathing and that calmed me a bit.  The midwife arrived maybe about 5min after our daughter did (I’m a bit fuzzy on time).  She helped to clamp the cord, and like we had originally planned, hubby got to cut it.  We were all in shock that day, and I still can't believe what happened.

 I have to say this though, when we bought our mattress protector, we never realized it would come in so handy, but it definitely saved our mattress that day! Everyone was amazed by what happened to us and plenty of jokes were made about hubby delivering our little girl.  I had never planned on a home birth, and I still would be too nervous to have a planned one, but it was nice being at home, everything I wanted was near, and it was definitely comfortable.  Not to mention everyone knew where we were and didn’t have to pay for parking.

Now she’s a toddler and just as impatient as she was the day she arrived.  But just like the day she arrived, she continues to take me by surprise and amaze me.

And one thing I know for sure, if your partner tells you they don’t want to see what’s happening, tell them to never say never, or they could end up like my hubby with front row seats!